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There and Back Again...

Another view from the rabbit hole

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T. M. Smith



June 2nd, 2009

Activism and the Summer

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Alright, if you're not a member of GSA_LJ then you probably haven't heard much from me lately on here. Well, unless I commented on something you wrote.

The summer is going well. I've been working like a dog to make up for not getting a GI Bill check in the summer months, lol, but it's all good. However, I took a bit of a break from work to support a non-discrimination resolution in Shelby County. It is the first of it's kind in TN.

Here's the link to the local paper's coverage. The video within the article gives you a look at what several citizen's including myself had to say during the Anti-discrimination votemeeting.

This next link it to the local NBC affiliate's coverage. I did a short interview following the meeting which is included at the end of the this video.

Yay for summer activism.

May 11th, 2009

I've been posting to online communities lately but nothing about myself. So here goes a run down.

The semester's over. The official grades haven't come in but I expect all A's and one B. Yeah, the B will be Math, but that's a vast improvement for me in that department. I'm going to be missing the GI Bill check, and I'm hoping to all things holy that I can get enough hours at work to pick up the lack.

The bf is doing well. He's finishing up his training and coming for a visit next weekend. We haven't seen each other since mid-March, so.... yeah, we have some catching up to do. And here's where I need some advice.

It's under here if you care to go forwardCollapse )

March 24th, 2009

Took A Break

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So, I took a break, however unintentional from LJ over the past few weeks. I apologize if I missed anything of great importance. But I'll give you a little footnote on me to catch you up to speed.

School is going very well, though I'm ready for summer to get here. This semester's course load has been absolutely boring. (I don't have any classes where informed debate plays a role.)

Over Spring Break, I took a road trip and visited Savannah, GA and Beaufort, SC for the first time in over three years. For those that don't know, I was stationed in Beaufort while in the Marine Corps, and Savannah became my second home. The trip was amazing. It reminded why the area has always felt like home: the scenery, the salt-air and wonderful, laid-back atmosphere. Walking around Savannah, one wouldn't have been able to tell anyone felt the stress of our recent and ongoing economic woes. Friday, Saturday and Sunday I went to Destin, FL to visit the beau. We made sure to have a good time as it is the last time we'll see each other until May.

Now, I'm back to the grind with several irons in the fire. My play is undergoing a vital critical review. After the results come in, I'll either take it to the next level or go back to the drawing board. We'll see. The national exam for the fraternity is closing in. Hmm, I don't know how that is going to fare, but I'm not really concerned either way.

February 14th, 2009


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For Aaron, for Aaron, for Danny and Keith, for all my brothers who have been, are or will be there, for all the lovers, myself included, who await their return:


_and understand as best you can
_what he is doing for you,
_ for us.
Attempt to bypass selfish desire,
_ as I assure you
_ to his chagrin or relief
_ he has.
If you could see the world as he -
_through swirling sand and fading mirage -
_ your judgment might not be as harsh.
He longs for you,
_ for home
_ as purely as you long for his return.

The paradigm:
He is a misnomer to most,
_ to all but his brothers;
His ways and whims as foreign to those left behind
_ as the sandy soil he now treads.
Sporadic communication does little
_ to ease the disquietude.
And as his face fades from the monitor,
_ you ponder the bitter possibilities
_ of a spatially divided eternity.
(If he returns,
_ Will gazing into his eyes
_ be as glimpsing a memory of a space forgone
_ never to return?)

I understand your quandary,
_ for I now wait on him as well,
But this measure of peace I offer
_ for I have walked many miles in his boots:

You are not - can not - be forgotten.

As surely as spring begets summer
_ and summer... fall
_ so too will this season pass.
Return to you,
_ to us... he will
And regardless of all malady, he will
_ with our steadfast devotion
_ upon his time
_ return in whole.

T.M. Smith

February 11th, 2009

Another Week Down

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I have failed to let anyone now how things are here in Memphis. So, I figured an update was in order.

The semester started out well. My classes are not the most exciting in the world, but I hope to see A's in my future... save math. I've become a bit more of the socialite in the past few months. This is a good thing, as this is what I once was and most happy when there.

I'm not big on social fraternities, but at the U of Memphis, I found an honor's fraternity very akin to one without the bullsh!t. I'm being pinned Thursday night into Phi Sigma Pi.

Oh, I am now "dating" someone. Currently, he is in the Air Force, but he is a Reservist and hails from well somewhere near to where I live. We've known each other loosely for a few years now. One thing led to another and we've decided to give it a go. We'll see how it does. (I don't mean to sound complacent about him. He's a great guy, but I'm a very cautious individual right now.)

Well, that's all for now.

Take care guys.

January 20th, 2009

Wonderful Start

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Well 2009 is certainly off to a good start.

I won't wax about President Obama's inauguration. It was a beautiful and historic ceremony. We all have our hopes for certain changes to come about this year. Suffice to say, he has my support and prayers for the trials very close at hand.

Personally, school started back last Thursday. I haven't been to all my classes yet as I have a weird arrangement of schedule. But I'm pretty sure things will go just fine.

Things at the gym are going well. I'm firming and expanding in the right areas. I just have to keep at it and hope to hit my goal by spring break. Headed on a coastal road trip if all goes right.

This past weekend was amazing. I spent Friday night through Monday afternoon in Destin, FL. It wasn't that much warmer, but I felt refreshed like I haven't been in quite a while. Visited with an old acquaintance/new friend and just kicked back and forgot about everything else for three days. It's the first real vacation I've had in a few years. And it did me very, very well. Now back to the grind but refreshed.

January 7th, 2009

Running On Full

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It's been a couple of weeks or at least it feels like it since I posted. I thought I would give those interested an update of what's been going on.

Christmas-after-Christmas with the family was fun. My grandmother and mother filled me up with good Southern-cookin' and then sent me home with a fresh pecan pie. No real drama. Though my father and I had to have a talk that I thought was long past. (If I mentioned this before I apologize.) In his Christmas letter received earlier in the week, he was "praying that the Lord would send a good, Christian lady into [my] life..." And it went on from there. We didn't fight about it but I let him know in no uncertain terms that he needed to keep his prayers between him and God.

New Year's Eve was awesome. Though I once was, I'm no longer a huge club person. If anything I like a nice, small bar with maybe a pool table and dart board. BUT it being Memphis and New Year, only one place seemed to fit. So I hit the gay club. While the toasting and dancing were a great stress relief, I reunited with some old friends that I haven't seen in a long while. And am now seeing my circle grow a bit larger in this old town.

Other than that, I've been working and writing. School is back in just over a week's time. I'm just waiting for the student "refund" check to hit to get books and what not.

December 29th, 2008

While You Sleep

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I don't usually do this here. And I may have already posted this a looong while back, but I don't think so. But I'm in insomniac mode and figured what the hell. I have my newest ones, but something felt right about posting this. Maybe one of you needs it.
This was written in March 2006.

<b>While You Sleep</b>Collapse )

December 24th, 2008

Holiday Wishes for All

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Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or any other festival, no one can deny the certain feelings of anticipation and change that accompany this time of year. As you continue your holiday comings and goings, I offer a few holiday wishes that can apply to all:

1) Like we always heard our grandparents say, "Times are hard for everybody." The same is true for now. But don't allow not getting/having everything you want or need to make you give up. There is always a way, if we stay the course long enough to find it. I wish you the strength to keep on keepin' on like you have so far.

2) Change is the buzz word this year. But it means so much more. We know we need and want change in our politics and policies. But what about ourselves? Take a good long look at yourself this holiday season beyond losing 10 lbs or putting down cigarettes. Find out what really needs to change to make you a little kinder, a little bolder, a little less quick to judge and a little more willing to forgive. I wish you the courage to commit to those types of changes.

3) No doubt another year has brought with it the loss of someone close to you. Whether by a move, a break-up, a death or any number of things, many of us have had to say goodbye. As you struggle with those losses, remember, you've had losses before. Maybe not as big; maybe not as hard, but we all have a innate ability to heal. I wish you the peace that will allow your heart, mind and soul to rest and be restored.

4) Another year has also brought renewals or new relationships. Cherish those new-found ones. Cultivate the bonds between you. If you've renewed a relationship of some sort, remember why it ever came to the point of needing renewal and make it a point not to go there again. Whether simple friendship or romance, nothing can grow without being fed. I wish you the love to properly feed those relationships.

5) Finally, this time of the year, we all feel like a rebirth is near. Whether consciously or not, we throw out the old calendar with relief, and we hang the new one up with at least subconscious resolutions. Regardless of our station in life or our current situations, January 1 offers us a chance at something different. Maybe my holiday wishes didn't touch your particular one. And if it didn't, I apologize. Whatever you feel is due for a change, a fresh look or a different approach, I wish you the wisdom to identify and rectify the situation.

Blessing and Best Wishes!

December 16th, 2008

For the front end of a week. Things are going great, but it's been a building process.

On last Thursday, I started back to work. (Armed security again, but this time for a company worth a damn.) My first post is and will be until Thursday a 10-hour stint at a small company at their front desk. This is a research facility. And so I have all the free time in the world, per them, to do what I want as long as I sit at the desk. Now, to a writer that's heaven. As of the end of my shift today, I finished writing the working first draft of a play. (The first work of any length I've been able to finish in a long time.) I'm thrilled to be honest. Once I complete the edits and rewrites (not this week) it should be roughly 90 minutes long.

BUT the most elating event was the reunion with an old friend from Savannah, GA. A little more than four years ago, I lost complete contact with a very dear friend of mine over some bullshit that was my fault. (And I mean we haven't so much as said hello in four years.) But through a mutual friend, who I have stayed in contact with, we reconnected on MySpace this weekend and have been catching up since. I can't even begin to describe what it's like to know he wants to renew the friendship. This was my wine drinking and poetry collaborating buddy. Truly, one of those friends you make down to the core. We've both been through a lot of shit, and time truly has healed wounds. (I'm glad this prayer has been answered.)

Well, later guys. Gotta be up early for the desk.
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